


Just Another Date

by ScumdogSnev



Category: Evil Dead - All Media Types, Re-Animator (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Not Too Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 12:32:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18638182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScumdogSnev/pseuds/ScumdogSnev
Summary: There is absolutely nothing peculiar about the regular dates between a cursed killing machine and a crafty mad scientist.





	Just Another Date

**Author's Note:**

> Dared myself to write something with a maximum of 500 words because I'm a long-winded motherfucker.

“It'll take more than run of the mill artillery to even leave a scratch on me, you fool!”

Ash squints through bloody eyelashes to look for Herbert's swift silhouette in the cemetery. Even without his undead guinea pigs, the guy’s a bitch to take down. Figures that someone who’s terribly precise with a scalpel would be a natural with a gun.

“You solve all your problems like this, West?” Ash’s voice booms like thunder throughout the dreary field. “Playing hide-and seek’s no way to fight!”

But it’s been working for Herbert for years and he sees no need to change his strategy. However, the scientist does believe in a healthy variety of weaponry, unlike his rival. Hidden behind a large gravestone, he calmly stows away his pistol in his jacket, opting now for a combat knife concealed in his boot.

“Out in the field, you should be tackling your problems _head-on!”_

Herbert instinctively parries Ash’s chainsaw swipe to the neck with his knife, the sonic result as unpleasant as the muddy snow underneath their feet.

Ash flinches. “What, was I too loud? Can’t believe you figured out my game without even looking at me.”

“It wasn’t just the sound of your engine, your yells and your footsteps. It wasn’t even because of your embarrassingly meager arsenal.” Herbert finally turns to Ash. “See, you should save your one-liners for the end of your assault. Your current methodology makes you predicta--”

Herbert is cut off by a metal jab to the face, the impact propelling him to the ground.

“Bet you didn't see that one coming, Doc.”

Ash begins to feel bad when his eyes meet Herbert’s offended expression, obscured by shattered glasses and a bloody nose. “Lemme guess. I went too far?”

“No, that was a decent counterattack, albeit a late one. It was my fault for wearing such meaningful glasses during our scheduled battle,” declares Herbert with a sullen smirk. An organic hand gently takes off his broken eyewear and smooths out his wet, dirty hair.

“I think I’m taking our training too seriously,” groans Ash, blood still trickling down his face.

“No! Carry on as usual! Never hold back with me, you understand?”

“Gotcha, my little masochist.” Ash can’t keep himself from smiling; his partner’s brazen stubbornness never gets old. He lunges at Herbert’s face for a kiss, giving it his all like this is a battle in itself. The mad doctor retaliates in kind before pulling away, a string of saliva briefly connecting their bloody lips to each other.

“I’d say I’m more of a realist in this case. You’re not wrong to call me a masochist, however,” purrs Herbert. “Let’s go to the mausoleum over there so that I may... patch you up.”

“Helloooo, nurse!” Ash grabs his shoulder for support, provoking a yelp from the smaller man.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Yes. I just misjudged your firepower, is all. You also owe me new eyeglasses.”

“Fuck!”

Ash’s outburst prompts an endearingly chilling cackle from his lover.


End file.
